Dr. Holly's Continued Anti-Depressant Methods

It's not fun to be depressed. I know that from having one week of depression. In my whole life, folks! Must mean I'm doing something that could be helpful to the depressed! So, here are more things to do to make people less depressed...

1. Only play bored games with people who suck at them worse than you do.

2. Stay away from the graveyard! I haven't been there in... (counts on fingers) 'bout five years, and I feel great!

3. Talk in a Norm MacDonald voice all day, saying stuff like, "Who's that dude?" and, "I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!"

4. When you go to the nursing home, bring some really good-smelling perfume along. That place desperately needs it, and I'll bet visitors and patients alike would appreciate it.

5. Go to the Humane Society and adopt a companion. You and the dog or cat will never be lonely again.

6. Don't get too attatched to the dude or chick you're going out with. My mom always gets too attatched to her dudes, and *dang* does she get depressed when she gets her heart broken.

7. Don't do drink, smoke, or do drugs. It'll probably seem like it's helping at the time, but it's not. It's making things worse! Soon, your money will all be spent on all the crap you bought, and no one will like you because the smell of you makes them cough or gag. Plus, you'll die quicker. And I don't know about you, but I think the thought of death is a bit creepy.

8. Help homeless people out. If you've got five bucks to spare, I'll bet they'd like some fries. You'll feel really good about yourself after you give them money. I saved my allowance for a year in fifth grade to give a homeless guy sixty bucks, and I felt great the whole year afterward!

9. When the Simpsons comes on, record it, and save the tape for a rainy day. You can crack up at your favorite episodes sometime when you're feeling bad.

10. After a hard day of putting up the drywall at the new McDonald's instead of working at GM, you probably feel pretty beat. Remember that butt-ugly sweater in your closet that you never wear that Great Aunt Linda got you for Christmas? Time to exchange it for The Sims Livin' Large! Tell Great Aunt Linda a psycho cat attacked you while you were wearing it.

Welp, that's all I've got to go. I'm grounded, I just snuck on here while my dad was at work. (Kisses computer screen) Farewell, sweet computer! I shall return... when my grades get better! See ya.

--"Holy"

P.S. Rory? Are you out there somewhere? Did'ja get rid of yer diary?