The Hot Chocolate Theory

It is my belief that hot chocolate heals all wounds... well, you know, except for those external wounds. If you have those, I would advise you to get some Harry Potter band-aids and Neosporin immediately. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, Chris Rock's dad might think that Robitussen is the only medicine to use, but I think hot chocolate is.

My Hot Chocolate Theory started way back in the year of 19 and 99. My brother, Zach, and my best friend, Sarah, had started dating at the beginning of that year. Now, these two crazy kids didn't seem to go together at all. They were like vinegar and water, fire and ice, Ron and Hermione. They would make out, fight, make out, fight, day in and day out. And every weekend, my mom, Zach's best friend, Bobby and I would all have to put up with Sarah and Zach's fighting.

Well, one day, I just got tired of it. I wasn't sure I liked Zach and Sarah's makeout sessions any better than their fighting, but I was going to put a stop to one of 'em! Since I didn't know how to stop the makeout sessions, I decided to work on stopping the fighting. In the midst of one of Zach and Sarah's fights, I asked them both to come out to the living room, and I made them each a mug of hot chocolate. Once they were both well into their hot chocolate, I acted as Relationship Counceler, talking out their problems with them. This always seemed to help, right up until the day that Sarah and Zach broke up for good last year.

I'd forgotten about The Hot Chocolate Theory until last night, when I had a terrible migrain. I was watching Grumpier Old Men on TV with my dad. It was very cold in the family room, and the afghan my grandma made for the baby version of myself, wasn't helping much. After taking a Zomig (a migrain pill), I made myself some hot chocolate to help the fact that it was frickin' freezing in here, Mr. Biggelsworth. My dad went to bed, Zach went to work, and My Girl 2 magically appeared on the TV. The first mug of hot chocolate had really helped, so I made another one. The combined effect of the hot chocolate and the awesomely sentimental movie gave me feel very warm and at peace with the world. So, I'm glad I remembered The Hot Chocolate Theory. Everyone must try this, it works wonders.

Say, you know what? To completely change the subject, I just realized something. I'm totally paranoid! As some of you may know, I am grounded from the computer for the month of October, yet here I am, typing away while my dad's at work. Well, I keep hearing car doors, and every time I do, I peer anxiously out the window, afraid that it's my dad. He doesn't even get home until 5:00 or later, but I keep thinking, What if he came home early in some sadistic plot to catch me on the computer? He knows! Dear God, he KNOWS! Okay, folks. I have officially flipped out. I'd better go before I make everyone else paranoid. So... ta!

--Paranoid Android,
Holly Rachael