You know, after seven hours at school, my back hurt *so* unimaginably bad. I don't know about you, but I do not enjoy hours of intolerable pain. But when somebody rubs my back, it just hurts more! I try to turn on the TV to forget about the pain, and something like Eminem or Kid Rock will be on MTV. I'll turn off the TV and try to sleep. I just can't calm down enough when I have nothing to look forward to.
The one time of year I'm completely calm, and everything in the entire world seems perfect and peaceful is Christmastime. Sometimes, I just feel like I need Christmas. Yes, I know Halloween is the upcoming holiday, and I'll enjoy being Andrea (the gothic chick) from Daria, but as soon as Halloween's over, I am breaking out all that is Christmas! YES, YES, I *REALIZE* that the holiday after Halloween is Thanksgiving! I've got to play my Christmas CDs, and get the tree up from the basement, and get the Christmas lights on the house... And this year, I am *so* going to the soup kitchen. Last year, no one would go with me! Sarah and Mom said that they might go with me this year, though. So, that's cool.
Okay. I just wanted to talk about Christmas. I NEED IT, I TELL YOU! IT RUUUUUUUUUUULES! I'll now leave you with me singing "Kiss Me at Midnight" by 'N Sync to myself...
Kiss me at midnight! Dance until the morning light! Partyin' to the new year... all of my friends are here, and then the time is right... Kiss me at midnight!
--Christmas Freak,
Holly the "Holy" Zintel ():-)
Sunday, October 29, 2000
Thursday, October 26, 2000
Dr. Holly's Continued Anti-Depressant Methods
It's not fun to be depressed. I know that from having one week of depression. In my whole life, folks! Must mean I'm doing something that could be helpful to the depressed! So, here are more things to do to make people less depressed...
1. Only play bored games with people who suck at them worse than you do.
2. Stay away from the graveyard! I haven't been there in... (counts on fingers) 'bout five years, and I feel great!
3. Talk in a Norm MacDonald voice all day, saying stuff like, "Who's that dude?" and, "I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!"
4. When you go to the nursing home, bring some really good-smelling perfume along. That place desperately needs it, and I'll bet visitors and patients alike would appreciate it.
5. Go to the Humane Society and adopt a companion. You and the dog or cat will never be lonely again.
6. Don't get too attatched to the dude or chick you're going out with. My mom always gets too attatched to her dudes, and *dang* does she get depressed when she gets her heart broken.
7. Don't do drink, smoke, or do drugs. It'll probably seem like it's helping at the time, but it's not. It's making things worse! Soon, your money will all be spent on all the crap you bought, and no one will like you because the smell of you makes them cough or gag. Plus, you'll die quicker. And I don't know about you, but I think the thought of death is a bit creepy.
8. Help homeless people out. If you've got five bucks to spare, I'll bet they'd like some fries. You'll feel really good about yourself after you give them money. I saved my allowance for a year in fifth grade to give a homeless guy sixty bucks, and I felt great the whole year afterward!
9. When the Simpsons comes on, record it, and save the tape for a rainy day. You can crack up at your favorite episodes sometime when you're feeling bad.
10. After a hard day of putting up the drywall at the new McDonald's instead of working at GM, you probably feel pretty beat. Remember that butt-ugly sweater in your closet that you never wear that Great Aunt Linda got you for Christmas? Time to exchange it for The Sims Livin' Large! Tell Great Aunt Linda a psycho cat attacked you while you were wearing it.
Welp, that's all I've got to go. I'm grounded, I just snuck on here while my dad was at work. (Kisses computer screen) Farewell, sweet computer! I shall return... when my grades get better! See ya.
--"Holy"
P.S. Rory? Are you out there somewhere? Did'ja get rid of yer diary?
1. Only play bored games with people who suck at them worse than you do.
2. Stay away from the graveyard! I haven't been there in... (counts on fingers) 'bout five years, and I feel great!
3. Talk in a Norm MacDonald voice all day, saying stuff like, "Who's that dude?" and, "I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!"
4. When you go to the nursing home, bring some really good-smelling perfume along. That place desperately needs it, and I'll bet visitors and patients alike would appreciate it.
5. Go to the Humane Society and adopt a companion. You and the dog or cat will never be lonely again.
6. Don't get too attatched to the dude or chick you're going out with. My mom always gets too attatched to her dudes, and *dang* does she get depressed when she gets her heart broken.
7. Don't do drink, smoke, or do drugs. It'll probably seem like it's helping at the time, but it's not. It's making things worse! Soon, your money will all be spent on all the crap you bought, and no one will like you because the smell of you makes them cough or gag. Plus, you'll die quicker. And I don't know about you, but I think the thought of death is a bit creepy.
8. Help homeless people out. If you've got five bucks to spare, I'll bet they'd like some fries. You'll feel really good about yourself after you give them money. I saved my allowance for a year in fifth grade to give a homeless guy sixty bucks, and I felt great the whole year afterward!
9. When the Simpsons comes on, record it, and save the tape for a rainy day. You can crack up at your favorite episodes sometime when you're feeling bad.
10. After a hard day of putting up the drywall at the new McDonald's instead of working at GM, you probably feel pretty beat. Remember that butt-ugly sweater in your closet that you never wear that Great Aunt Linda got you for Christmas? Time to exchange it for The Sims Livin' Large! Tell Great Aunt Linda a psycho cat attacked you while you were wearing it.
Welp, that's all I've got to go. I'm grounded, I just snuck on here while my dad was at work. (Kisses computer screen) Farewell, sweet computer! I shall return... when my grades get better! See ya.
--"Holy"
P.S. Rory? Are you out there somewhere? Did'ja get rid of yer diary?
Tuesday, October 24, 2000
What Makes Humans So Cool?
You know, I was watching my pets yesterday. My cats, Amy and Daria, were bathing with my dog, Chyna, and they were all hanging out, having nothing against each other. They were so cute. The next minute, they were at each other's throats.
Humans are that way, too. We watched a movie in U.S. History today about World War I. It was Christmas Day, and a few Germans came out saying, "Don't shoot! We don't want to fight today! We'll send you over some beer!" Some of the French agreed with them, and everyone was contentedly singing "Silent Night," in their own languages, but together. But just as soon as midnight came, a shot was fired, and the derned people were at each others' throats.
We say that humans are the masters of the world, and that we're so much cooler than animals. People go on killing animals, with that foolish belief in their heads. It's selfish. They think that humans are the best animal just because they, for some reason, want to eat the other animals' flesh?
Liberty and justice for all, eh? What about the animals?! Don't they freaking count?! They're our equals. Talk about discrimination. *Shakes head* Selfish humans.
Humans are that way, too. We watched a movie in U.S. History today about World War I. It was Christmas Day, and a few Germans came out saying, "Don't shoot! We don't want to fight today! We'll send you over some beer!" Some of the French agreed with them, and everyone was contentedly singing "Silent Night," in their own languages, but together. But just as soon as midnight came, a shot was fired, and the derned people were at each others' throats.
We say that humans are the masters of the world, and that we're so much cooler than animals. People go on killing animals, with that foolish belief in their heads. It's selfish. They think that humans are the best animal just because they, for some reason, want to eat the other animals' flesh?
Liberty and justice for all, eh? What about the animals?! Don't they freaking count?! They're our equals. Talk about discrimination. *Shakes head* Selfish humans.
Sunday, October 22, 2000
Zach Day
Well, yesterday was Zach Day. It wasn't too bad because I didn't really see that we did all that much that Zach wanted to do. Before Zach and Bobby showed up, though, I made Sarah over, and Zach quite appreciated that. Heh, so *he* had a good day.
Anyhoo, I guess it's pretty much out in the open that I kind of like Bobby. Zach and Sarah read my "Holly Day" entry, and they figured it out. I don't know if Zach's going to tell him. He promised me he wouldn't, but when Zach finds out about something, he tells the whole frickin' town! ARRRRGH! Last night, we were watching Arlington Road, and Bobby wanted to lay on the floor instead of sitting on the couch with me, and Zach was like, "You whine about not having a girl, but there's one."
Alrighty then. I s'pose we're gonna go to the Pumpkin Patch after Zach gets back from droppin' Bobbo the Clown off. Welp, see ya!
--"Holy" ():-)
Anyhoo, I guess it's pretty much out in the open that I kind of like Bobby. Zach and Sarah read my "Holly Day" entry, and they figured it out. I don't know if Zach's going to tell him. He promised me he wouldn't, but when Zach finds out about something, he tells the whole frickin' town! ARRRRGH! Last night, we were watching Arlington Road, and Bobby wanted to lay on the floor instead of sitting on the couch with me, and Zach was like, "You whine about not having a girl, but there's one."
Alrighty then. I s'pose we're gonna go to the Pumpkin Patch after Zach gets back from droppin' Bobbo the Clown off. Welp, see ya!
--"Holy" ():-)
Saturday, October 21, 2000
Holly Day
Zach was reading my journal (I let him), and he found out that I get jealous sometimes when he and Sarah leave me alone while they go, make out. He and Sarah set up this "Holly Day" thing, devoted to me. They promised not to make me feel left out on that day, and said I could choose whatever we do. I thought that was very noble of them. Well, today was Holly Day! I chose to go, see "Bedazzled" with Mom, Zach, Sarah, and Bobby, and to go to the Pumpkin Patch. Bedazzled was awesome; I just loved it to pieces! Anyhoo, though, Sarah and Zach, as usual, weren't getting along too well tonight...
Mom, Zach, Bobby, and I were all playing Trivial Pursuit, and I was having a ton of fun because I was winning, and I usually suck at that game! Sarah wasn't playing because she wanted to write her story instead. Zach didn't like the fact that she wasn't playing, though, and kept saying, "Sarah, you can't talk to us while we play the game since you're not playing it." Well, the last time she tried to talk to us, and Zach told her to shut up, she was trying to tell us that she had been having such a bad week, she was about ready to cry! The poor girl... I felt really bad for my friend, and didn't think that my brother was helping anything, so I went into my room, where Sarah was hiding, and tried to give her the best advice I could. I don't even know if I helped at all. They're all made up now, so everything alright, but I sure was scared there for a minute.
Mom is having a hard time with Ron, too, and I can't seem to help her with that. Bobby and I were both trying to give her advice, but it didn't seem to work out too well. I asked Bobby why I was no good at helping people, and he said, "All you can do is try. You do your best to help the people you care about, and that's all you can do." I know he's right, but I always feel guilty when I can't give someone the advice that will solve all of their problems.
And there's just one last problem. No one really knows about it... I can't really bring myself to tell them, because... well, it's just weird. There's this guy, and he keeps hitting on me, and it's creepy. No one *ever* hits on me. *Ever*. But... see, he asked me out like, five times, and... I just kind of acted like he was kidding for some reason. I like him because he's cool, and I have fun with him, but I haven't ever really thought of him like that. AND I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WITH GUY PROBLEMS! I'M THE THERAPIST! NOT THE PATIENT! ARRRRRRRGH. See, he has this way of acting like he's kidding about everything... but he didn't sound like he was kidding then. I don't know what to do...
Well... these hardly sound like "hilarious antics of Holly," huh? Heh heh. Oh well. Perhaps next time, I'll have something hilarious that happened to me. So, let's hope I spill Slurpee all over the carpet in a rich guy's house, have him catch me, and I blame it on someone else, and they get thrown in jail tomorrow! Yeah! That should be good. Okay. Adios for now!
"Oh, sure, *everything* sounds bad if you remember it."--Homer J. Simpson
Mom, Zach, Bobby, and I were all playing Trivial Pursuit, and I was having a ton of fun because I was winning, and I usually suck at that game! Sarah wasn't playing because she wanted to write her story instead. Zach didn't like the fact that she wasn't playing, though, and kept saying, "Sarah, you can't talk to us while we play the game since you're not playing it." Well, the last time she tried to talk to us, and Zach told her to shut up, she was trying to tell us that she had been having such a bad week, she was about ready to cry! The poor girl... I felt really bad for my friend, and didn't think that my brother was helping anything, so I went into my room, where Sarah was hiding, and tried to give her the best advice I could. I don't even know if I helped at all. They're all made up now, so everything alright, but I sure was scared there for a minute.
Mom is having a hard time with Ron, too, and I can't seem to help her with that. Bobby and I were both trying to give her advice, but it didn't seem to work out too well. I asked Bobby why I was no good at helping people, and he said, "All you can do is try. You do your best to help the people you care about, and that's all you can do." I know he's right, but I always feel guilty when I can't give someone the advice that will solve all of their problems.
And there's just one last problem. No one really knows about it... I can't really bring myself to tell them, because... well, it's just weird. There's this guy, and he keeps hitting on me, and it's creepy. No one *ever* hits on me. *Ever*. But... see, he asked me out like, five times, and... I just kind of acted like he was kidding for some reason. I like him because he's cool, and I have fun with him, but I haven't ever really thought of him like that. AND I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WITH GUY PROBLEMS! I'M THE THERAPIST! NOT THE PATIENT! ARRRRRRRGH. See, he has this way of acting like he's kidding about everything... but he didn't sound like he was kidding then. I don't know what to do...
Well... these hardly sound like "hilarious antics of Holly," huh? Heh heh. Oh well. Perhaps next time, I'll have something hilarious that happened to me. So, let's hope I spill Slurpee all over the carpet in a rich guy's house, have him catch me, and I blame it on someone else, and they get thrown in jail tomorrow! Yeah! That should be good. Okay. Adios for now!
"Oh, sure, *everything* sounds bad if you remember it."--Homer J. Simpson
Thursday, October 19, 2000
My Confusing Dad
Well, I certainly have a list of problems, and I have missed *so* much school because of them lately. But my dad doesn't even care what's wrong with me. Actually, he doesn't even *believe* I *have* anything wrong with me. He thinks everyone should go to school every day just because that's what he always did.
I scarred my legs up pretty bad the other day when they went numb and I fell down the stairs, and they really hurt bad today, so I couldn't get out of bed. My freaking brother had to go and call Dad at work and inform him that I wasn't going to school. Dad wanted to talk to me and, of course, all he did was yell at me. I tell ya, that guy has no sympathy for *anyone*! He said, "YOU GET TO SCHOOL BY 10:00, OR I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU SEE YOUR MOM ANYMORE!" He says he can take her to court and prove that she's an unfit mother. Hello?! Doesn't he see who's the unfit parent here?! HIM! I can't take much more of him. Why do I even stay with him to begin with? I love the guy, but... *sighs* he sure is hard to put up with most of the time.
Dad is really confusing because one minute, he'll be screaming at me, and sometimes Zach, for every little thing he can possibly think of. "HOLLY, YOU MISSED AN HOUR OF SCHOOL TO GO TO THE DOCTOR! YOU CAN'T BE MISSING SCHOOL FOR *THAT*!" "ZACH, YOUR KLEENEX DIDN'T GET IN THE TRASH CAN!" "YOUR MOTHER'S AN IDIOT!" "IF YOU DON'T GET THIS STEREO OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO STOMP IT!" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Then, the next minute, he'll be all happy and walking around singing his "Holllllllllllllllly Rachael!" song, and his "Oh, Zach-ya-boy!" song. He is so extremely manic depressive, and he will not admit to it for anything. Zach says, "Holly, you always accuse everyone of being racist, or manic depressive." Um... did it ever occur to him why I accuse people of that? Because they are! And Dad is both of them! ARRRRRRRRRRGGGH. *Sighs*. Okay. I can't seem to vent very well through typing, so I'm going to shred some napkins now. See ya.
--Holly
I scarred my legs up pretty bad the other day when they went numb and I fell down the stairs, and they really hurt bad today, so I couldn't get out of bed. My freaking brother had to go and call Dad at work and inform him that I wasn't going to school. Dad wanted to talk to me and, of course, all he did was yell at me. I tell ya, that guy has no sympathy for *anyone*! He said, "YOU GET TO SCHOOL BY 10:00, OR I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU SEE YOUR MOM ANYMORE!" He says he can take her to court and prove that she's an unfit mother. Hello?! Doesn't he see who's the unfit parent here?! HIM! I can't take much more of him. Why do I even stay with him to begin with? I love the guy, but... *sighs* he sure is hard to put up with most of the time.
Dad is really confusing because one minute, he'll be screaming at me, and sometimes Zach, for every little thing he can possibly think of. "HOLLY, YOU MISSED AN HOUR OF SCHOOL TO GO TO THE DOCTOR! YOU CAN'T BE MISSING SCHOOL FOR *THAT*!" "ZACH, YOUR KLEENEX DIDN'T GET IN THE TRASH CAN!" "YOUR MOTHER'S AN IDIOT!" "IF YOU DON'T GET THIS STEREO OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO STOMP IT!" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Then, the next minute, he'll be all happy and walking around singing his "Holllllllllllllllly Rachael!" song, and his "Oh, Zach-ya-boy!" song. He is so extremely manic depressive, and he will not admit to it for anything. Zach says, "Holly, you always accuse everyone of being racist, or manic depressive." Um... did it ever occur to him why I accuse people of that? Because they are! And Dad is both of them! ARRRRRRRRRRGGGH. *Sighs*. Okay. I can't seem to vent very well through typing, so I'm going to shred some napkins now. See ya.
--Holly
Tuesday, October 17, 2000
What the bloody 'ell is wrong with me?
As I've mentioned before, one of my many problems is restless leg syndrome, this deal where I have leg spasms that keep me awake for most of the night. Well, my doctor prescribed tonic water for me. I haven't had the leg spasms for a few nights, but now I'm just in horrible, intolerable pain! Yesterday morning, I got up for school, and collapsed because my legs went numb! I missed school because I was in so much pain when the feeling came back in my legs. Today, I went to school, but I fell down the stairs because my freaking legs went numb *again*! What is up with me and my weird problems that no one else seems to have?!
My grandpa Z. has cancer, so he's been getting this lazer stuff done to him. I've been pretty close to him my entire life, and if he can't beat this cancer, I'm really going to miss him. I haven't lost a grandparent yet, so that's going to be extremely hard...
My friend is thinking about killing herself, and I really, really hope she's going to be okay. She's been talking to school councilers and stuff, but she won't even tell me what's making her so upset.
Dang. I guess all I've got is sad news today. Well... hopefully, I'll have something a bit cheerier to say in my next entry. Later.
--Holly
My grandpa Z. has cancer, so he's been getting this lazer stuff done to him. I've been pretty close to him my entire life, and if he can't beat this cancer, I'm really going to miss him. I haven't lost a grandparent yet, so that's going to be extremely hard...
My friend is thinking about killing herself, and I really, really hope she's going to be okay. She's been talking to school councilers and stuff, but she won't even tell me what's making her so upset.
Dang. I guess all I've got is sad news today. Well... hopefully, I'll have something a bit cheerier to say in my next entry. Later.
--Holly
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