Really, right frickin' now.
I mean it.
Seriously.
Move your keister, Meester.
Alright, I feel that that's enough of a warning for fellow nerds who aren't very fast readers. First off, I have a new 'ship. When everybody (like that free promotional Borders bookmark) kept asking, "Is Snape a friend of a foe?" I would say something along the lines of, "Dude, who cares? He's an entertaining character either way," and the bookmark would generally reply, "...I don't know what you want me to say. I can't very well make a persuasive argument because, you see, I'm a bookmark. All I can do is pose the same question over and over again and advertise Border's Books and Music and the date the book comes out." At that point, I would begin to hope that Snape was a friend, so that I could say that he was my friend, and then I could tell that snooty bookmark that I had an intelligent lifeform (however fictional he may be) with whom I could carry on my "Who cares?" argument.
Wh-where was I? Oh yes, Snape. So since I was so determined not to care whether or not Snape was a friend or foe, I was very surprised when the witty ol' hook-nosed fella turned out to be a friend... and such a sweet one! I literally sat at my grandma's dining room table, crying like a wuss about how sweet it was that Snape was (and will, as Prof. Sevvy said, "always" be) so in love with his childhood best friend, Lily Evans. I adored the whole chapter "The Princes Tale." A couple of my favorite parts were:
"Severus?"
A little smile twisted Snape's mouth when she said his name.
"Yeah?"
"Tell me about the dementors again."
"What d'you want to know about them for?"
"If I use magic outside school--"
"They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too--"
He turned red again and shredded more leaves.
--Pg. 667, American version
"I didn't mean--I just don't want to see you made a fool of-- He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not... everyone 
thinks... big Quidditch hero--" Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.
"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."
Harry doubted that Snape had even heard her strictures on Mulciber and Avery. The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Snape's step...
--Pg. 674, 675, American version
"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"
"I have-- I have asked him--"
"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"
Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. "Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her-- them-- safe. Please."
"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"
"In-- in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, "Anything."
Pg. 677, 678, American version
"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter--"
"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"
"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"
From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once around the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
"After all this time?"
"Always," said Snape.
Pg. 687, American version
And, of course, I'm also insanely moved by Snape's death in "The Elder Wand"
When the flask was full to the brim, and Snape looked as though there was no blood left in him, 
his grip on Harry's robed slackened.
"Look... at... me..." he whispered.
The green eyes found the black, but after a second, something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank, and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.
Pg. 658, American version
So sad and so sweet. I'll try not to squeal like a 13-year-old girl but I don't know if I--SQUEEEEEEE! Oh. Sorry, I guess I couldn't contain myself. Anyhoo, what I have to wonder is, if Lily was so persistent in her belief that James Potter was an "arrogant toerag," why in the hell would she ever marry the conceited wiener? I mean, I know that Sev screwed up with all that "filthy little Mudbloods like her" crap, but he apologized profusely, and it was very plain to see that he adored every last deep red hair on her head. So what was Lily's deal? *Waves a "Sev" flag* Man, I need to make a "Potter stinks" badge with a different Potter on it. If I were Lils, I would've said, "Hey Toerag, thanks for Harry, but I'll be going for Sev now." 
And, of course, J.K. Rowling had to go ahead and finalize the scary, too-obvious 'ships, which were clearly emotionally unstable. If we were depending on emotional stability to keep those 'ships afloat, they would have been sunk immediately. First off, what is the deal with Ginny? Why did our main hero end up with this rather minor character (till the 6th book anyway) who simply had a crush on him as a kid? The girl couldn't even talk to him for four years! So now Harry's just suddenly like, "Hey, Ginny's hot. Hope Ron doesn't mind if I snog--er, um, date her." Where the crap did that come from?And then there're Ron and Hermione, who have always bickered like an old, unhappily married couple, but seem to think it's a good idea to spend the rest of their lives together anyway. Their relationship reminds me of a 6th grade boy snapping a girl's bra and throwing spit balls at her
across classrooms to try to get her to like him. And so they get married and have child named "Hugo." I'm serious, they really named one of their children Hugo. I know it's sad. But I've gotta say, I didn't expect much more from a couple who probably says things like, "I know you are, but what am I?" and "Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!" in bed. But remember, according to J.K. Rowling, Hermione and Harry are the ones who think of each other as siblings. *Rolls eyes* Whatever.With these kinds of pairings actually happening in the books, you kind of have to wonder what kind of romantic relationships JKR has had herself. They can't have been too healthy if her characters' relationships are any indication, eh? The girl can write chemistry- she really can! But she smothers those delicious sparks with the awful, awful pairings.
Alright, I guess that's enough nerding for one day. Now I'm off to find out what I'd look like as a Simpsons character. *Grins nerdily* Hee! Alright, I guess there can never be enough nerding. Ah, when am I actually going to find a boyfriend instead of finding boyfriends for fictional girls? Oh well... I'll just leave you with one awesome Harry/Hermione video and one great Snape/Lily vid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VrwhNi8Dq0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFZ2IGLV7UA
<3, Holly
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