Dentists Are the Devil

Alright, alright... I finally get why the whole world dreads going to the dentist, and feels that they are the devil. After over twenty years of having absolutely nothing wrong with my teeth... I still had nothing wrong with my teeth. But I was told that my wisdoms would jack up all my other teeth if I didn't get them removed. And so... I did. This was the worst idea ever. It's just that... well, my dentist's office has never steered me wrong before, so I figured, hey, what was the worst that could happen? OH, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE HORRIBLE, BLOOD-CURDLING PAIN AND VOMITTING FOR A BLOODY WEEK STRAIGHT?! A 7-HOUR TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL?! A WHOLE BAG FULL OF WRONGLY-PRESCRIBED MEDICATION?! ALMOST NO FOOD FOR NEARLY A WEEK?! In the words of Napolean Dynomite, "Gosh, idiot." A week and a day after my surgery, and I'm finally able to eat macaroni and cheese, something I would have been able to eat the day after the ordeal had I been in the hands of a competant medical professional! Dude, let me tell you, if a 90-year-old man ever comes near you with surgical dental tools, tell him to get the crap out of your face before you stick him in an old folks home with nothing to eat but pudding, which is what I pretty much did all week. And let me tell you, sitting on your arse for seven whole days eating butterscotch pudding and watching five billion DVDs is not nearly as much fun as it sounds. Now that I can feel something other than excrutiating pain, I think I'll eat some pizza (oh, you just watch me chew it! ...Really slowly and carefully) and go to bed.