55 Questions to Ask Your Dog

Here's a crazy-arsed survey I nicked from Shana! Yayyyyy, crazy-arsed survey!

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Nope! The Jason Alexander character in Shallow Hal would go out with me! Oh wait, I'm fat... No, I guess he wouldn't. But then, I wouldn't go out with him either.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Sharpies. Wait, those are markers... Uh, pink ones.

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
Yeah... planner... let me just get right on that.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
They don't have a "usually" color. They could be any color at any time! They're very unpredictable. But right now they're a deep coral.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
My Laugh-In script. I did it in orange.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
White. They're lacy at this house... at the other one, they're Harry Potter print.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
Light gray.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Two of them, for a very short time, while we had Bahdra's kittens staying with us. Mini-Jerry and Adelvice.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
I'm assuming it was some sort of... um... mail.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
Uh... I don't know. I guess that means no, huh?

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
For spending purposes.

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Crookshanks. He's still my baby kitty, even at 2 years old!

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
No. *Sniffle*

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
No, cinnamon is nasty.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
The same one I am now.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators
No! You can't make me. What is that, anyhoo, some sorta football crap?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
I've never been.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
On the... computer.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
The air duster.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
My liver surgeon.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
Your mom.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Zach's marching band pictures.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Yesterday when Mom made me baked pasta shells with cracker crumbles and parmasean cheese. Ohhhhh yeah.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
No ma'am.

25. How many emails do you have?
5 zillion and 2.

26. Last time you received flowers?
Jerry's aunt gave me a rose at the play.

28. What are you listening to right now?
Some car driving by.

29. Do you play air guitar?
No sir.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Donuts.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
What in the crap is a Willow Tree figurine?

32. What is your high school's rival mascot?
Dude, I don't know. Which high school are you talking about?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Uh, Zach.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Friday at the hospital.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
No thanks, I'm good.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
Bisque.

37. What is in your inbox at work?
What inbox? ...What work?

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
Newspaper, eh? Probably showtimes or Garfield.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
Pageant, eh? Nope, I don't think I've ever been to one.

40. What was the last place you ordered pizza from?
Little Ceasers. Ooooh yeah.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
Sure. Don't you have a crown? Of course, I'm awesome.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
Successfully? I don't know. I tried to staple the Laugh-In script together, but that didn't work out.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
Nope.

44. Are you ticklish?
Absolutely everywhere. Crap! Now random folks know one of my billions of obvious weaknesses!

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
While having relations with Johnny Depp. Wait, that hasn't happened yet. Probably on the Fourth of July.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
When they were free at some point.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?
The doctor, I believe.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
I... don't know.

49. Do you have a black dog?
Indeed, Chyna bear! She's also white. Yay for Chyna, she's multi-racial!

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
Jerry and Zach.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
Yesterday, perhaps.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
No. Do you remember Ugly Betty? I was watching that the other day, that Nerdy Boy Henry on there is hot.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
No ma'am.