Straight Eye For the Queer Guy

Holly's Headlines or Things Holly Has Learned Recently

• Hugging Jerry is good; colds are gross


• New theatre class not up to students' standards


• Holly is cast as Alice in Lost, a confused character who is basically Holly herself


• Meg and Jerry are cast in Interiors as the dirty psyches of proper people


• Kyle is cast as normal guy Dan in Scuba Lessons


• Columbiaville Mansion will be transformed... (Harold Ziddler style) INTO A THEATRE! Kyle will be in charge of the plays, Jerry will be directing, and all four of us will be acting. Our first show will be Rebecca


• Kyle and Meg move in with Jerry; color is introduced to his apartment


• At Holly's 20th birthday dinner, we discovered that Jerry would marry Holly had he been born straight


• Sarah will be giving birth to Kaitlin Marie any time now

So theatre class is not entirely thrilling this semester. Lori, the only theatre teacher I've ever had, has quit. We all thought Lori was the best thing since sliced bread, even the folks who'd had other theatre teachers. Lori let us use our imaginations and play around with our scripts. I Hate Hamlet was the best experience of my life... and no, it wasn't just the all the physical interaction with Jerry. *Grins* But that was definitely a plus. That play was a challenge. I learned to speak with a German accent for the role, Jerry and I actually had to learn to dance, the boys had to figure out how they should sit while wearing tights... It was incredible, the whole experience. The main thing was that Lori encouraged us to have so much fun with the play. When our work was done, we still wanted to go to J.W.'s and hang out. I had my 2 first kisses there with my fellow theatre students, Chris and a very drunk Jerry (he seems to turn straight when he's drinking, so you'd think I'd approve of his love of alcohol, wouldn't you?).

This semester, our teacher is Amy. She doesn't seem to enjoy our idiotic antics nearly as much as Lori did. And instead of doing one whole play, we'll be doing short little plays that should confuse the audience nicely. She likes yelling at Jerry, Meg & Kyle for swearing, but she's just assigned Jerry and Meg to parts where they say dirty, dirty things that will do a wonderful job of offending my grandparents. Kyle will, of course, be playing the attractive guy who gets the attractive girl. And I've got the part of the confused girl who has no clue what's going on with anything in life. Do you see what's happening here? We're all playing ourselves. There's no challenge here. *Sigh* But I'm sure it'll be sort of entertaining. And hey, what am I complaining about? I got a part. *Smacks self and promply resumes writing entry in usual Happy-Go-Lucky-Holly manner*The fun news is, Meg & Kyle have moved in with Jerry! Last Wednesday, after theatre, Jerry and Meg stayed in the car and were sad about their exes while Kyle and I moved his and Meg's things inside the apartment. It turns out that Straight Boy knows how to decorate, and he really surprised the heck outta me when he put in Savage Garden to work to. Who knew the gay guy would suck at decorating, and the straight guy would be so good at it? Eventually, Meg and Jerry came in and the full-out decorating & consumption of Jerry's awesome vegan tacos began. I've never seen Jerry's apartment look so neat... and so colorful. Meg's big, red Buddha umbrella hangs in the corner above Jerry's beautiful wicker and glass table. Kyle's picture of our cast from The Elvis Monolouges is upstairs in what is now his and Meg's bedroom. Meg & Kyle hung her huge purple tapestry on the upstairs ceiling while I snapped pictures galore. We all got little-kid excited by the end of the night, and I caught this hilarious candid video of Jerry that he's very upset about. We've dubbed the place The Theatre Apartment, and plan to film a sitcom starring the four of us called Creative Differences. T'will be very lovely indeed.

<3, Holly

Two Guys, a Girl and the Odd Chick Out

Hi kids! Sorry I haven't written in such a ridiculously long time... I'll be catching up on all your lives (I've missed that a lot) A.S.A.P.!

In my 3rd semester of theatre, I became very good friends with 3 fellow drama kids, who I love to death. There's Jerry, the hot gay boy who is hilarious, sinngs like a sexy-arsed angel, and has become a vegan & animal rights activist over the course of the three months. There's Meg, the beautifully eccentric girl who says cute things & meows a lot. And finally, there's Kyle, the ultimate nice guy who is adorable & extremely humorous. When Kyle & Meg aren't making out or fighting, they're meowing "I love you" to each other.We were all in I Hate Hamlet together in November, and we've been inseperable ever since. In December, we took a bus trip to Ohio with my step-dad's hockey team, my step-dad, and my mom, where Jerry sang the National Anthem, Kyle filmed, and Meg and I were subjected to a sport. *Shudders* We stayed in Ohio overnight (since Jerry would be singing for the game the next day, too) and I must say, I was very excited about sleeping in a bed with Jerry... until he snored in my ear. We did have lots of fun making sandwiches for the hockey players in preparation of the trip, and purchasing lovely things in the awesome downtown shopping district. Most of the time these days, we all just hang out at J.W.'s, where Jerry sings karaoke and I sit there, being in unrequited love with him... and video taping, of course. Check out the way he sings "I'll Be".Everyone quickly learned how anti-alcohol, anti-smoking, anti-drugs, & anti-conformity I am one night when we all went to a Coney Island after an I Hate Hamlet rehearsal. My three new friends, along with Justin, another theatre kid, all wanted to go out to their cars and smoke pot. I was shocked and unbelievably upset to find out that they did this stuff to themselves, and that they would do it in my presence. I immediately burst into tears upon hearing what they wanted to do, and everyone said they felt terrible for making me feel so horrible, and decided not to do it around me. Meg and Kyle still continued to smoke cigarettes every second of the day, Jerry kept "smoking socially," as he called it, and he seemed to get drunk nearly every time we went to the karaoke bar. I worried about them all constantly, especially Jerry, whom I had grown the closest to. I was relieved beyond belief when Jerry made the New Year's Resolution to stop smoking, and I was thrilled when he made a vow to never drink as much as he did the night before Thanksgiving, when he got so drunk, he couldn't give me directions to his house, and he had to sleep it off on my living room couch. But New Year's came and went, and Jerry kept smoking, and even got extremely drunk again-- at least I knew how to drive to his apartment by then. I became depressed (not to mention sick from the smoke) every time we went to a bar. I went home crying every night... couldn't he see how much he was hurting me by hurting himself? Or did he just not care? I took to shooting Jerry dirty looks every time he ordered a mug of beer or a shot, and was extremely upset when he tricked me into paying for one of his shots.A few nights ago, Jerry invited me to his apartment, where we would hang out with Meg and Kyle, like usual. But when I got there, they all kept going into the bathroom together. I figured they were doing drugs (it had really smelled like pot in there to me...) & felt like they must think I was a real moron to not guess what they were doing. I felt humiliated, assuming they'd all had a big laugh, thinking they'd pulled one over on me. I called Jerry up the next day and demanded that he tell me what had been going on in the bathroom. He admitted they'd been drinking beer, and that they'd stashed it in the bathtub when I'd knocked on the door. Trying not to cry & failing, I told him how hurt I was that they'd lied to me, and that if they were going to be doing stuff that they knew would bother me, don't invite me in the first place.Jerry and Meg came to my house the next day and explained to me that they wanted me around, but they had wanted to drink really bad, so they hid it from me since they knew I'd have one of my emotional breakdowns & leave if I was aware of what was going on. They said that they love me, but feel like they have to tiptoe around me & can't completely be themselves when I'm there. I don't want them to feel like that, but I worry about them so much, and I just don't know what to do.

<3,>

In Love (Scenes) With a Gay Guy

Theatre is going marvelously. We're now holding practices at Buckham Alley, where the play will be held, and I must say I adore the place. Wednesday we painted the set burgundy and went over the dramatic & romantic scenes. The place is right in the ghetto-- homeless people sneak in and sleep in our dressing room & rats live in the props. But other than that, the place is lovely! *Claps excitedly* My gaspingly romantic scene with Jerry has become even more-so. I was delighted when he decided we should go off on our own and practice our scene repeatedly. Toward the end of the scene, when we're dancing, we (as our characters) say:BARRYMORE: You know, Lillian, there is another question that many ask. A question regarding certain activities and their practice in the next world.LILLIAN: You mean activities of a physical nature.BARRYMORE: Aren't you curious?LILLIAN: Surprise me.Jerry suggested that Barrymore should really surprise Lillian by goin' in for a fervent kiss there. I was very fond of this idea, but Lori wishes for him to spin me into his arms in a hot, tango-like move. *Shrugs* Which is still fine with me, of course. *Runs outside to screech excitedly like a 13-year-old at a Justin Timberlake concert or other such nonsense* I feel that we should dance to "Let's Make a Night (To Remember)" by Bryan Adams, but no. There will be romantic '40s music... possibly a song called "Dream Dancing" by an old fellow named Ray Anthony and his orchestra. *Waves to Grandpa in thanks*

Obviously, I've had a crush on Jerry for a while. Wednesday night, he managed to change that. After theatre, I rode with him to J.W.'s for karaoke. Lovable theatre members Meg and Ben met us there, as did Jerry's pals, Amanda and Kristi. Meg & I were a bit worried that it's a 21 and older bar, but we had no trouble. As soon as I got there, I signed up to sing "Lucky One" by Amy Grant. I immediately regretted this when Jerry and Kristi got up and sang "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge. They we incredible! As loud as the music was, I'm sure my heart could be heard thudding like crazy. Jerry was better than Ewan freaking McGregor. Just look, here's a mini-video I taped of them singing "Come What May". Then DJ man announced, "Now here's Holly with 'Lucky One'!" And there I was. On stage with my braided pig-tails and total lack of singing talent. Afterwards, Meg told me, "You looked so adorably innocent... I loved it, dahling!" A while later, Jerry sang "Your Song" Moulin Rouge-style & I believe that's when I melted into a puddle of a warm butter-like substance on my chair. *Gestures helplessly to link* Just watch the man sing "Your Song". I don't have a crush on Jerry. *Guiltily smacks self on forehead* I'm head over pink tennis shoes in love with the guy! Oh, the warm, endless hugs he gives... Those gorgeous eyes (sometimes pine green with specks of brilliant gold, sometimes the exact opposite). The way he's so sweet, hilarious and irresistibly adorble. His voice... speaking and singing. But then there's also the way he tells me, "I need a boyfriend, Holly," and tirelessly continues his search for his perfect guy, while I've already found mine... and he's gay. Sigh. Oh man, I still can't get over the fact that I stayed out till 3:30 A.M. at a bar with fun people who think it's cute that I dislike the idea of drinking and smoking. I especially heart Meg, with her snazzy faux-fur coats, always amazingly creative displays of eyeshadow on her lids, and adorable way of speaking. She says things like, "I enjoy that coat" and proclaims her undying love for random objects and people at will. *Squeezes her*I must go now, to begin writing a play based on tonight's theatre adventures, which I'll tell you all about in my next entry. Did you all check out the wonderful caricature Zach did of me, on my front page? If not, CHECK IT OUT! *Hugs*

<3,>

How Fencing Can Be Hot

I was pretty dang excited at theatre the other night when Jerry asked me to go karaoke-ing with him. I'd always wanted to try karaoke (despite the fact that I completely lack musical talent), but this would have taken place at a bar in an extremely dangerous part of town. So naturally, I called up my best friend and begged her to come with me. Sarah said she'd go with me under two conditions, 1. she could bring Matt and 2. she wouldn't have to sing. None of us minded that this was a gay bar, but what bothered me was the "bar in a dangerous area at 11 P.M." part. Before 11:00 rolled around, I had wussed out, called Jerry and asked him if we could hang out in a non-bar atmosphere in the daytime where I wouldn't be afraid to step outside of my car. *Rolls up into a ball and cowers* Being an extreme wimp sucks sometimes. Jerry and I met up with Sarah and Matt at Pizza Hut Wednesday evening before theatre. Over the course of our pineapple dessert pizza, Sarah and I decided to play "Guess Jerry's Age." She guessed 19 and I guessed 20. "Way off!" he told us. "I'm 30." *Clunk, clunk* went our jaws as they hit the table. He doesn't look or act 30-years-old at all. Whoa. We stayed and talked about everything from Jerry's and my histories in theatre to Sarah & Matt's upcoming baby (Kaitlin Marie, they've decided to name her) to how hellish high school was. Then we went to the mall to get some frozen cappuccinos, and for once in my life, I was actually late to theatre. Dun dun dun! Sarah and Matt thought Jerry was almost as amazingly awesome as I think he is. But not quite, of course. After all, they haven't seen him play John Barrymore yet. And until they see that, they haven't lived.

I realize you're all sick to death of hearing about theatre, so I think I'll talk about it a little more! I seem to have become rather attached to the regal German accent I use when I'm Lillian, so I use it everywhere I go, which greatly annoys Zach. I also have a tendency to buy my character gifts. I bought Lillian this huge "diamond" ring and ritzy faux-fur jacket. Not only do I love playing my part, I love watching everyone else (especially Jerry and Kyle [Barrymore & Andrew]) act. Their fencing scene is brilliantly cool, and I'm sure it's extremely wrong that I find that scene hot. *Grins guiltily* They just keep jumping all over the stage and Jerry's got that deep voice of his that I think is so ridiculously sexy and... sigh. I have a problem, don't I?Mom and Mike are back together for the moment. After staying at my grandparents' house for a few days, Mom went back to work and realized that she really missed Mike. Mom asked me how I felt about the situation. I thought about it and we were both surprised to realize how much I want their marriage to work. They're good together, they just have an awful lot of bumps in their relationship. She went back home that night, but she's laying down some serious rules, and now I'm just hoping everything works out for the best.

<3,>

The Dramatic Entry

Sigh. Double sigh. Sigh, sigh, sigh. For the past couple of weeks, I've been coming to theatre and wistfully watching the sweet scenes between Kyle's and Jessie's characters (Andrew and Deirdre), but I've also been teasing them about how they haven't yet added their makeout scenes to their rehearsals. Of course, this is mainly due to the fact that Jessie's boyfriend is furious about her having to kiss Kyle & having Jerry kiss her neck in this play, and Jessie's very distraught about her dude being so mad. But I was totally unaware of this predicament when I was laughing about the total lack of lip-locking between Kyle & Jessie. But Kyle, at least, managed to get his revenge on me last night. Lori finally directed the Lillian/Barrymore scene toward the end of the play that Jerry and I hadn't practiced together yet. Before Lori gave us stage directions, I had no idea that this scene was supposed to be so... "Danielle Steel book" intimate. But it's like... all romantic and intense. Here's how it goes, basically:(The ghost of Barrymore is shocked when Lillian enters and can see him. At first, he doesn't remember her & she's rather extremely irritated by this. But then he remembers... really remembers, and holds his hand out to her. Lillian's still pissed at this "vomanizer" but she takes his hand, and they reminsce about that night when they stole champagne from a party, came back to his apartment, and made love. They passionately embrace and are almost kissing when...)Kyle suddenly decides to imitate porn music. Loudly. Non-acting members of the class decide this is the funniest thing ever. *Is slightly ashamed* I guess I had that coming... When we got back in the swing of things, Jerry had to twirl me into his arms in a stunningly romantic gesture that I managed to ruin, take after take, but actually did it pretty well in the end. But then Jerry and I had to attempt slow-dancing while reading our scripts around each other's necks. *Makes a note to memorize lines ASAP*In other news, I went with Sarah and Matt to the ultrasound last week and am thrilled to announce that they're having a GIRL, they're having a girl! Matt was sort of dissapointed, while Sarah was more tickled than I've ever seen her. I'm so excited, I almost want to get a job, make a few trips to Babies "R" Us and buy 2 years-worth of girlie clothes, teddy bears, and other baby-worthy merchandise. But Sarah has a lot against the color pink, and I don't have time for a job. *Pouts for a bit*

Well, it looks like Mom's marriage to Mike isn't going to last much longer. He's full of promises he can't keep, and she just can't take it anymore. Mom and I stayed at my grandparents' house last night, and Mike keeps calling and... she can't talk to him. It's so heartbreaking to see my mum go through this for a third time. She's the absolute best person in the world, and it's terribly sad that she has to keep going through this crap with guys. To change the subject once again (though not completely), I wish I had a guy in my life. I know it seems like such a weird time to wish for this, what with Mom & Mike's problems, and hearing about boyfriends who are jealous of the other girls kissing guys in our play (nope, it's not just Jessie's boyfriend that's mad). But watching Sarah & Matt and seeing Moulin Rouge-romantic couples everywhere I go, and having this super-close scene with Jerry... really makes me wish I had a guy of my own. And it's scary that I seem to know who the guy is that I want. It hit me tonight when I was watching everyone act out a scene from I Hate Hamlet. Of course, I can never have this guy, what with him being gay and all. Maybe if I could just have a guy that's exactly like him in every single way except that he's not gay. He's so awesome, though... I hardly ever whine about this sort of thing, folks, but I had to get this out. Once again, sigh. When did drama become so... dramatic? Later, everybody.

<3,>

A Lesson in Tough German Elegance

It was a chaotic Wednesday night two weeks ago at Mott College. The stuffy air in the hallway was thick with tension as theatre students practiced lines in small groups, all from little yellow books titled I Hate Hamlet. Lori would call groups in, one at a time, and every group seemed to want to be the first to audition. I liked how we were able to audition in groups, rather than stand up there in front of Lori and her clipboard alone. After finding out that Lillian (the chick I wanted to play) was supposed to speak in a deep German accent, I got more than a little freaked out, as I'd auditioned for the part with a smoker's voice. As I practiced with various groups in the hallway, I decided I'd like to try out for the part of the phony, suck-up real estate agent, Felicia too. But when Lori asked me to sit out in the audience, I felt my stomach drop-- only Nick, Frankie, Meg and I were sitting out there, while everyone else still got to rehearse and try out some more. This didn't look good at all. Meg and I decided that if we didn't get parts (and we really wanted parts now), we should at least get candy or something for trying so hard. Miraculously, Lori let six of us stay an hour later than usual and audtion our arses off. She told us the cast list would be posted the next day.So Thursday, I went back to the college and checked for a cast list no less than five times. It was never there! I was so anxious, I felt continually sick all day long. I couldn't even eat! And when I can't eat, it's time to call an ambulance and pump my stomach because I must be frickin' sick. I didn't sleep much that night, and I couldn't get to school fast enough Friday morning to see if the cast list was there yet, for the love of Almighty God, before I ripped all my hair out and shipped myself off to the nut house. It was there and I was in the play! I got the part of Lillian, and my kiddo Shawna's going to play Lillian on the alternate days! *Does the ultimate happy dance, which happens to be a combination of the Macarana, the twist, the Monkey and an odd-looking version of jumping jacks* I was so thrilled, I wanted to conjure a patronus or make amends with my arch-nemesis or something. But I don't really have an arch-nemesis, and I can never get the fake wand I bought at K-Mart to do any sort of magic. *Shakes it half-heartedly, then tosses it over shoulder bitterly* So instead, I went to lunch at the lovely, deliciously elegant Italian wonder, Ruggeros, with Sarah. I was all giddy to see that Sarah's tummy is all paunchy, and you just know there's a tiny dude or chick growing in there. I'm excited because I'm going with Sar-bear to her ultrasound tomorrow afternoon and we'll see if she's got a guy bun or a girl bun in the oven. Fun will be had by all.

Currently, I am in my P.J.s and ready to go to sleep, after two long nights of theatre in a row. Not that I did any work tonight... it was more like, Cast B did a ton of acting while Cast A (that's us!) sat around and watched/supervised them. I'm very excited that Cast A looks like this:Andrew Rally: Kyle John Barrymore: Jerry Deirdre McDavey: Jessie Lillian Troy: Holly (that's me! Hoo hoo) Felicia Dantine: Meg Gary Peter Lefkowitz: Justin

Monica and I played with Nick's baby, Jay, a lot. He's a hilarious little guy whose hobbies include drooling all over the place, snoring while he's awake, and staring at random people in complete awe. I heart Jay. *Pats his fluffy, cotton-like hair* I'm having a lot of trouble with this whole German accent thing that my character requires me to have. Lillian's supposed to be this elegant, 80-year-old chain-smoker who speaks in a very deep, tough-sounding German accent. Everyone kind of fears and respects her, but she also has to be extremely likable. *Blinks* It is very hard to do, and my throat hurts so bad after doing the Lillian voice, but it's fun to hack my words out while talking about the torrid love affair I once had with The Famous John Barrymore. Bow chicka-wow-wow. Oh yes... I am the chick.

<3, Holly

Hyperventalation Ensues

Theatre is different this year in the fact that Lori will no longer be just handing out parts and saying, "Okay, get memorizing." This time we'll have to actually try out for parts. Lori has decided we'll be doing I Hate Hamlet, a play in which there are only 6 parts. However, we're to have the play over a course of 4 nights in November, so Lori's going to try this thing called "double casting." That means, two people will play the same part, but on different nights. *Shrugs* But that still means that only about 12 of us will get parts, out of about 22 people who almost all want to act. So crap. The play goes like this: Andy Rally's a TV actor whose girlfriend, Deirdre, thinks he's hot stuff... but she still refuses to have sex with him, or anyone, much to his dismay. When Andy's show gets canceled, TV producer Gary decides to cast him as Hamlet in Shakespeare in the Park, but he... well, isn't a very good actor. So his real estate agent Felicia, his talent agent Lillian & his girlfriend Dierdre, have a seance to bring back the ghost of famous Hamlet actor, John Barrymore (Drew Barrymore's great-great grandpa) to coach Andy so he can play Hamlet well. Sounds good, no?

Wednesday was Script Reading Day in theatre, so we all gathered ourselves into groups of six containing 3 girls and 3 dudes, so that we could read the play together for the first time. In our group, the likable & easily amused Danny played Andy, shy & quiet girl Ashley was Deirdre, good ol' Kyle played Barrymore, cutie-pie Monica was Felicia, the walking pick-up line Ben played Gary, and I was Lillian. I have to say it went quite well, except that Danny seems to be very near-illiterate and Ashley doesn't seem able to say the word "sex" or make out with anyone on stage, as her part requires. Kyle kept helping Danny pronounce words & Ben asked Ashley who turned on the sensors. During this reading, I decided that I very much want to try out for the part of Lillian. She's all old & won't quit smoking... She has hilarious lines, and although Leah will probably also want her part (and may be better at it, seeing as she is a chain-smoker & I'd never touch a cigarette with a 10-foot pole), I REALLY want to be Lillian. I can do a smoker's voice quite well though & perhaps Leah and I can both do the part. I'm not very excited about competing with Leah, as she's my kiddo, but... sigh. I know one thing-- I don't want to do technical work or makeup or directing or... anything other than acting, so over the next week, you can watch me hyperventalate. *Fishes through purse for inhaler* Look, Nick & his wife had their baby and he brought him to class! His name is Jay and Leah seemed to go even more nuts for him than I did.

Mom and I went to Great Lakes Crossing yesterday to look for the I Hate Hamlet script in their bookstores, since Lori didn't make enough copies for everyone, and I must practice before trying out. But they didn't have the script there, or at Borders, or at the Borders here in Flint, or anywhere else. While at the mall, we were bumped into by many foreign people who apparently felt the need to yell things back and forth across the mall to each other in Yugoslavian. In other, completely off-topic news, OH NO, JOHN RITTER DIED! I loved that guy! I had just recently started watching Three's Company reruns and 8 Simple Rules was my favorite show! I watched a special about his life, and Mom and I thought it was quite neat that, when asked what he would do if he wasn't an actor, he replied that he wouldn't want to do anything but act, as that's what I always say... *Hugs for Angel-version of John Ritter as well as his family, friends & cast-mates*

Holly