In my 3rd semester of theatre, I became very good friends with 3 fellow drama kids, who I love to death. There's Jerry, the hot gay boy who is hilarious, sinngs like a sexy-arsed angel, and has become a vegan & animal rights activist over the course of the three months. There's Meg, the beautifully eccentric girl who says cute things & meows a lot. And finally, there's Kyle, the ultimate nice guy who is adorable & extremely humorous. When Kyle & Meg aren't making out or fighting, they're meowing "I love you" to each other.
We were all in I Hate Hamlet together in November, and we've been inseperable ever since. In December, we took a bus trip to Ohio with my step-dad's hockey team, my step-dad, and my mom, where Jerry sang the National Anthem, Kyle filmed, and Meg and I were subjected to a sport. *Shudders* We stayed in Ohio overnight (since Jerry would be singing for the game the next day, too) and I must say, I was very excited about sleeping in a bed with Jerry... until he snored in my ear. We did have lots of fun making sandwiches for the hockey players in preparation of the trip, and purchasing lovely things in the awesome downtown shopping district. Most of the time these days, we all just hang out at J.W.'s, where Jerry sings karaoke and I sit there, being in unrequited love with him... and video taping, of course. Check out the way he sings "I'll Be".
Everyone quickly learned how anti-alcohol, anti-smoking, anti-drugs, & anti-conformity I am one night when we all went to a Coney Island after an I Hate Hamlet rehearsal. My three new friends, along with Justin, another theatre kid, all wanted to go out to their cars and smoke pot. I was shocked and unbelievably upset to find out that they did this stuff to themselves, and that they would do it in my presence. I immediately burst into tears upon hearing what they wanted to do, and everyone said they felt terrible for making me feel so horrible, and decided not to do it around me. Meg and Kyle still continued to smoke cigarettes every second of the day, Jerry kept "smoking socially," as he called it, and he seemed to get drunk nearly every time we went to the karaoke bar. I worried about them all constantly, especially Jerry, whom I had grown the closest to. I was relieved beyond belief when Jerry made the New Year's Resolution to stop smoking, and I was thrilled when he made a vow to never drink as much as he did the night before Thanksgiving, when he got so drunk, he couldn't give me directions to his house, and he had to sleep it off on my living room couch. But New Year's came and went, and Jerry kept smoking, and even got extremely drunk again-- at least I knew how to drive to his apartment by then. I became depressed (not to mention sick from the smoke) every time we went to a bar. I went home crying every night... couldn't he see how much he was hurting me by hurting himself? Or did he just not care? I took to shooting Jerry dirty looks every time he ordered a mug of beer or a shot, and was extremely upset when he tricked me into paying for one of his shots.A few nights ago, Jerry invited me to his apartment, where we would hang out with Meg and Kyle, like usual. But when I got there, they all kept going into the bathroom together. I figured they were doing drugs (it had really smelled like pot in there to me...) & felt like they must think I was a real moron to not guess what they were doing. I felt humiliated, assuming they'd all had a big laugh, thinking they'd pulled one over on me. I called Jerry up the next day and demanded that he tell me what had been going on in the bathroom. He admitted they'd been drinking beer, and that they'd stashed it in the bathtub when I'd knocked on the door. Trying not to cry & failing, I told him how hurt I was that they'd lied to me, and that if they were going to be doing stuff that they knew would bother me, don't invite me in the first place.Jerry and Meg came to my house the next day and explained to me that they wanted me around, but they had wanted to drink really bad, so they hid it from me since they knew I'd have one of my emotional breakdowns & leave if I was aware of what was going on. They said that they love me, but feel like they have to tiptoe around me & can't completely be themselves when I'm there. I don't want them to feel like that, but I worry about them so much, and I just don't know what to do. <3,>
